No smoke without fire!

Smoking has been an on and off companion in my life ever since I was a teenager. More years on than off....

Many times have I questioned my own sanity in regards to this addiction, how can a quite intelligent woman like me continuously fall into this trap?

The old proverb "No smoke without fire" gives a clue, of cause there is a reason for my "insanity".....

An other proverb states "Sometimes you have to throw yourself into the fire to escape the smoke" ..... This gives me direction of action.

I have used my smoking friend as a comforter to cheer me up or calm me down or just to make the feeling of boredom and the state of inertia bearable.
..... I have quit many times and actually not missed my cigarettes at all after I've gone through the first weeks of withdrawal and agony....therefor it is even more not understandable why I time after time fall into the trap again, even after years of abstaining!

One reason I do know - it feels shameful to admit to it, but the truth is that I can't stand myself when the scale shows above my comfort zone.... This might sound like a really superficial angle, but the truth is that I feel like a stranger in my own body when the clothes in my wardrobe are to snug!
But I guess with great awareness this "problem" could be avoided.........

I'm so ready to let go of the cigarettes again, and so unwilling to go through the withdrawal..... So I keep on puffing...... A catch 22.....

So here I am waiting for the moment to throw myself into the fire to escape the smoke :) when will it arrive?

Remember, be gentle with yourself! I'm trying too!







- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad