Over the last few days I have been contemplating how I in the past just wanted to run away from discomfort, shake it off like a dog coming out of the water. The shaking of could take different forms , getting really busy was one, faultfinding an other and many years back Bulimia was my daily companion.
How sad it is not being able to be with what is, because whatever "what" looks like it's just energy passing through the body. How come that we are so afraid of the energy waves that we label as bad? Because we label them as bad!
For the passed days I have felt tensed without an obvious reason, I don't have to work, summer break from teaching school, the weather is stunning, everybody in the family quite content - with other words nothing to worry about..... And still this physical tension in my body every day when I wake up.
Instead of trying to escape I have begun to ask myself... Except from the tension, am I all right? Of cause I am! It's just tension, a bit uncomfortable, but nothing but tension. When I look at it this way the state of tension doesn't dictate the way I feel and I am able to see everything that I have to be grateful for instead of getting stuck in the tension bit. Yeah. I love it!
Not getting suck most of the time also opens up for revelations like the one I had early this morning when it dawned on me what the tension most probably is about. PMS! Ha, ha how silly not to realize this at once.... Well obviously the state of tension wanted to teach me something - and I got the message.
Being 51 and unavoidably getting closer to menopause this heightened awareness of how hormones can mess with me is a good one to have!
Remember, be gentle with yourself!
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