Wow, I can just say wow, because I feel wow :) Monday I felt extremely tired all day, like if I'd been on a mountain climbing excursion - waking up both yesterday and today so filled with joy I realized that that is what I have been - on a climb to the summit of my highest self :)
You know what might seem like a very strange thought, swiped through my consciousness at awakening - it would be ok to die today! Not that I want to, no, no not at all, it's just that I have always said that the only thing I do know is that the day it's time for me to leave this physical form I want to to it smiling, happy, fulfilled and with no regrets, no "had I only..."
This is how fulfilled, at peace and happy I feel - not like an exhilarated high, but a deep feeling of peace and joy!
The only thing in life that I have ever wanted it to be allowed to be me, not to have to hide any parts of myself, not having to fear that anyone would popp my bubble and see that I was nothing...... That whole thing about someone seeing my coreunworthieness.... This fear is completely gone.... Swiped away be being in the prescence of the authenticity, courage, breakthroughs and love that we all shared and created in circle - the knowingness that we all are one, that we all mirror everything in each other, not alone anymore but al-one :)
Holy shit, what joy! It is not an illusion, not self betrayal, this feeling, internal state that started to manifest after my firt retreat with you Christian - no, it is real, breathing, alive joy and acceptance of what is. To me this is such a miracle, I write this a tear of relief and deepest gratitude is finding it's way down my cheek.
Thank you all for being there, allowing me to take space in a state of feeling good and wanting to feel even better!!!! I feel so loved <3 ( that's a heart)- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
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